Back on the road

09:09 am... wish i could say that i've just waken up, but that happened hours ago… I'm back on the road, this time on my way to Aveiro City to the so expected christmas lunch...

Buses come and go by and so do people, each one in its own life... i look at them and wonder... what's their story? what do they do for a living? what are they thinking and how do they feel? What are they doing here? Where are they going? Are they going to work? Are they going home? Holidays? Family? Boyfriend?  Bus and train stations are very interesting places to observe human beings... I suddenly realize that we live surrounded by people, but we know so little about each-others... we're so committed to ourselves and to our daily lives that we don't even mind about the others... why should we...? An upset person goes by or attends you in a shop... what do you do? U get annoyed and probably judge that person... do you stop to wander what kind of troubles that person might be going through? of course not... you have your own problems to care about, right? But this doesn't happen just with strangers... we're like this with almost everyone, people we don't know, people we've known for some time, people we've known for years... why can't we care a little more about anything but ourselves? A nice word can be so comforting sometimes, even if it comes from a stranger... it may turn a dark day into one a shiny one... something even simpler than a word is a smile. U find a cranky person, what do you do? Your face turns serious as well... why...? Have u tried smiling? Sometimes it's all someone needs... and if u do smile, the person might just smile u back and her and your day will get a little brighter. It's such a simple action... I like to smile :) In fact i think i smile a lot and very easily, either to friends or complete strangers xD I've not always been like this though... i didn't use to smile or laugh freely at all... I can't recall when exactly did i change, or what caused it, but i've come to realize the powerful force of a smile ;P

Anyways… back to the topic xD

In Aveiro everything goes on smoothly… it's weird to be surrounded by all those people again… people i've known for some time now, some of them once close friends… now all they are is acquaintances...  it makes me sad life has to be this way... nothing changed, yet everything seems so different... how have they become such strangers to me?  I try to smile and act like everything's ok, but i can't... this hypocrisy kills me inside... everyone seems to get along, no fighting, no nothing, but where's that intimacy we used to have? It's all so superficial... it's all so fake... i feel like screaming... what the hell happened to us? Why does no body wanna talk about it? Why are we trying to ignore the fact that there are words left unspoken? I dunno... but i've given up... life goes on and so does people... I'll just go on with mine... carrying only who's worth it...

On the end of the day i make my way to the students dwelling... it's raining heavily… i had forgotten how much it rains here... but as a friend of mine once said, i'm "the girl who likes to get soaked"... and it is kinda true :)

Once on my room, it's weird to be back... i've lived here for quite some time, it's so familiar, i feel home, but this is not my place anymore... I've missed this place… :)

On monday i wake up early and head to the university to take care of some matters... done before lunch time i take a walk around my department... so many memories and yet i feel so misplaced... new faces everywhere, i hardly recognize anyone... i've been away for way too long... a feeling of nostalgia and loneliness strikes me and I just roam around the lakes... nature has always somehow comforted me :) but something's not right… i dumbly miss someone…

I go back home and have a little nap… it´s been so long since i last napped… but it feels so great :3 After lunch i go back to the university to meet with a teacher… but he seems to have disappeared from the map… i get tired of waiting and go "shopping" with xana… meaning… accompanying her xD wait… i did buy my mum a christmas gift ^^ That done, we went back home and i cooked for us both :) oddly enough, she did enjoy my vegetarian food :D maybe i'm not such a lousy cooker as i sometimes think xD At night, i invited rui to go with me to the cinema to watch "A Christmas Carol" in 3D… the movie was nice :) i liked its story :) but things with him are definitely different… our friendship has had better days… but there's nothing i can do about that i suppose... life goes on :)

Back at home… it's late and I'm tired… but i still have to pack my stuff again… I'll be back on the road again tomorrow ^^