Christmas

My oh my... what day is today? It's christmas... who would say? I can't recall any christmas as bad as this one... why? Why are my pillars falling apart? I feel so powerless... so useless. People please open up your eyes...!! I don't wanna be a part of this... i just want u all to get along... why is there nothing i can do? Why are you asking me to be the support for all this pain? I do not have such strength... I can't take this any longer... :( The thought of you gives me strength, but this all too hard to understand, too hard to accept... Wish i could fix this whole thing with my words, but lately they seem so vain... It's a christmas to forget... or so I'll try. I guess there was no need to be nervous about things till christmas, but about christmas itself. The days before it went just great :) Best christmas present =) and I also met my biological father... which is a big thing i suppose. He can now die in peace... xD I know i know... I'm being mean and cold, but that's how i feel, he doesn't mean a thing to me... I've tried to change that, i swear i did, i even agreed in meeting him, but i still feel the same...

With christmas gone, i finally have some time for myself... I'm not used to have people around me 24h a day anymore... i need my space. Everyone's still asleep, so i enjoy the chance to be on my own :) warmly lying under the sheets i think about everything that happened and wonder about what's still to come... Deep inside i wish i was somewhere else :) but maybe my presence here is stronger than my words and things will get better :)

Now, changing the subject, being home with a pair of binoculars is a whole different thing :) I stare at my window and suddenly realize that there are many things to see. An Elanus caeruleus is stopped in middle air, right in front of me, looking for food. Hunting as well is a pair of Falco tinnunculus and a common hazard (Buteo buteo), and alighted on a phone cable a pair of big black birds, probably crows, but i'm not quite sure yet... maybe they're ravens ^^ I decide to take a walk in the valley to watch the little ones, but i couldn't find that many...

Back at home everything's calmer... i wonder till when, but i try to enjoy the moment :)

Now in peace, i don't feel like posting the sad things i wrote before, but i shall keep them as memento of those dark times... 

The good thing about a storm, is when the calm comes :)

Solitude Moments

It's Saturday. I'm on the field cozily lying on rock. In the middle of nowhere i feel like I'm on the top of the world. Surrounded by nothing but nature, i wonder if i've done anything to deserve such wondrous moment. Sun rays warm me, giving me a comfortable feeling on this cold winter day. Down the hill, the Coa river. Its dark and fast waters can be heard from above, wildly running north, like almost no other river... A gentle breeze brings me its scent and i slowly enter an entirely new world... a world where man and women don't exist, a world without past or future, where perfection is revealed at every second by the harmonious beat of a bird's wing. I feel so tiny and insignificant... should i throw myself from this cliff and nothing would change... what difference does a life make? I'd return to where I once came and the world would live on... birds would keep on singing and these wild waters would keep on running, in an endless spiral of life. I wouldn't waste my life like that though... life might be ephemeral and insignificant on its own, but it's our most precious possession, in fact, it's probably our only possession, and even its fate does not belong to us, being its worth only decided by our actions... but, happily enough, there's no way we can measure that. 

Back at home everyone's returning home for christmas, but i'm still some days away... A weird feeling fills me... can't explain it, but it comes every time something reaches its end... Somehow i feel nervous for what still awaits me before christmas... =$

Tomorrow I'll go back to Faia Brava to try to review my methodology for the mammals census. It's not gonna work out the way i first thought. Thing's would be easier if the ground was flat, with no rocks or vegetation xD but that would be asking too much right? With eduard away it's me driving the jeep ^^ I'm dangerous though... meh it's no fun driving too slowly and avoiding all the holes and rocks in the ground =P Everything is white and the water puddles are all frozen, making a funny cracking sound after going over them with the car. Even though it is a freezing cold, the sun shines and everything looks alive. Birds jump around the trees and fly over me. It feels magic...

It's the first time I'm totally on my own in the reserve... i tought i'd might feel lonely and bored, but i didn't :) time flew by :) I spent most of the time "chasing" birds though xD New species i've seen include the short-toed treecreeper (Certhia brachydactyla), the blue tit (Parus caeruleus and the long-tailed tit (Aegithalos caudatus). Also both blackcap and sardinian warblers (Sylvia atricapilla and Sylvia melanocephala). I know i know... I'm just in the beginning... but we all are starters at some point :)

Birdies

Don't know what time this is… outside is still dark, but my eyes are now open.  I try to fall asleep again, but i can't… i've slept enough already. The morning cold gives me the chills and I lazily lie under the sheets till the alarm goes off, It's good to wake up earlier :) My throat is still lightly aching as a reminder of my own dumbness... when will i learn? when will i change? I easily get over it and try to ignore the fact that this is all my fault... maybe someday I'll get the hang of it.

 

Now... i might have said that winter started for me about a month ago, but i surely didn't know that things could get much worse on this part of the country.  The thermometer marked 1ºC  and even though i didn't know that i made the decision of putting on extra clothes today. A second pair of jeans was my best decision in the last few days, making my day way more comfortable.

The good thing about planning something is that it never goes the way you expected. You might argue that's not good, but i think it is =P 

Me and eduard planned on walking around the reserve looking for birds and to visit my sampling stations to look for animal signs. No need to say that that's not exactly what we did... xD As we get to Faia Brava we take our stuff from the jeep and find out that we're not alone... voices from someone else can be heard. Who? Antonio and the workers. Turns out that antonio is gonna be hanging around in the morning to take care of some matters. Given the choice of going with him, we quickly accept it :) we always learn something new with him :) He has to talk with some workers about the reserve fence... the horses have run again. On the way, subtly alighted on a bush, a dartford warbler (Sylvia undata). It's the first time i lay my eyes on one :) it's funny that i see it one day after learning its peep ^^

We spend the morning running the fence and visiting 2 future vulture feeding spots, where we eventually stop, now with the workers, for lunch. Autumn colors have invaded the area, spotting the green hills with yellow shades. The responsible for this colorful pattern is the Pistacia terebinthus, a native plant of the Mediterranean area.

On the way back a hoopoe (Upupa epops) poses for me :) It's always an amazing sight watching this animal fly ^^

Off the car it's time to go take a walk to watch some birdie birdies :) We've  been practicing for a few days now and it feels great starting to know those cute creatures :) 
 

We saw european robins (Erithacus rubecula), thekla larks (Galerida theklae), a southern grey shrike (Lanius meridionalis), chaffinches (Fringilla coelebs) and another hoopoe. Beside griffins in the air, to cheer up our day, we also saw a juvenile golden eagle. It's been sometime since we last saw one ^^

To finish the day, we gathered up some firewood, leading me to some finger injuries, but it's ok. What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger =P

People

Some people make us cry

Others, laugh

Some people make us despair

Others, dream

Some people make us crawl

Others, dance

Some people makes us fall

Others, fly

Some people make us die

Others…

Others just make us smile

Thank u   =3

Another  lazy sunday has gone by :) 

Last night storm has calmed down...  the dark and deep waters are now silent and smoothly run inside me... Did i overreact? Probably. But it's ok :) what would be the fun of crossing the sea if it had no waves? The journey wouldn't be half as exciting =)

Tomorrow a new week begins, even though the plan is made, what awaits me i dunno... What lies beyond this week is even more unpredictable, but one thing is sure :) Christmas is on the way ^^

Words

Words….

Such meaningless words

Words that u can use so well

Words that hurt

That make my heart cry 
And my soul bleed
Why do u have to be like this?

How can u be so cold?

Make me feel little, stupid, insignificant…

All i can do is love you, but u...

Why do i even care?

I pray u find your way…

My faith is lost

Today u've gone too far

So this is what happens when get a "no"

It's good to know

Don't come telling me u need me home

 It's been some time since i last wrote… i've been sharing pretty much what's inside me lately so i haven't felt the need. But u had to come and destroy my inner peace… how i wish u didn't have that power. Love sucks, all it does is hurt. And what annoys me the most is that I know i won't be mad for too long…

U'r one lucky bastard

And I..?

I'm just a fool…

Back on the road

09:09 am... wish i could say that i've just waken up, but that happened hours ago… I'm back on the road, this time on my way to Aveiro City to the so expected christmas lunch...

Buses come and go by and so do people, each one in its own life... i look at them and wonder... what's their story? what do they do for a living? what are they thinking and how do they feel? What are they doing here? Where are they going? Are they going to work? Are they going home? Holidays? Family? Boyfriend?  Bus and train stations are very interesting places to observe human beings... I suddenly realize that we live surrounded by people, but we know so little about each-others... we're so committed to ourselves and to our daily lives that we don't even mind about the others... why should we...? An upset person goes by or attends you in a shop... what do you do? U get annoyed and probably judge that person... do you stop to wander what kind of troubles that person might be going through? of course not... you have your own problems to care about, right? But this doesn't happen just with strangers... we're like this with almost everyone, people we don't know, people we've known for some time, people we've known for years... why can't we care a little more about anything but ourselves? A nice word can be so comforting sometimes, even if it comes from a stranger... it may turn a dark day into one a shiny one... something even simpler than a word is a smile. U find a cranky person, what do you do? Your face turns serious as well... why...? Have u tried smiling? Sometimes it's all someone needs... and if u do smile, the person might just smile u back and her and your day will get a little brighter. It's such a simple action... I like to smile :) In fact i think i smile a lot and very easily, either to friends or complete strangers xD I've not always been like this though... i didn't use to smile or laugh freely at all... I can't recall when exactly did i change, or what caused it, but i've come to realize the powerful force of a smile ;P

Anyways… back to the topic xD

In Aveiro everything goes on smoothly… it's weird to be surrounded by all those people again… people i've known for some time now, some of them once close friends… now all they are is acquaintances...  it makes me sad life has to be this way... nothing changed, yet everything seems so different... how have they become such strangers to me?  I try to smile and act like everything's ok, but i can't... this hypocrisy kills me inside... everyone seems to get along, no fighting, no nothing, but where's that intimacy we used to have? It's all so superficial... it's all so fake... i feel like screaming... what the hell happened to us? Why does no body wanna talk about it? Why are we trying to ignore the fact that there are words left unspoken? I dunno... but i've given up... life goes on and so does people... I'll just go on with mine... carrying only who's worth it...

On the end of the day i make my way to the students dwelling... it's raining heavily… i had forgotten how much it rains here... but as a friend of mine once said, i'm "the girl who likes to get soaked"... and it is kinda true :)

Once on my room, it's weird to be back... i've lived here for quite some time, it's so familiar, i feel home, but this is not my place anymore... I've missed this place… :)

On monday i wake up early and head to the university to take care of some matters... done before lunch time i take a walk around my department... so many memories and yet i feel so misplaced... new faces everywhere, i hardly recognize anyone... i've been away for way too long... a feeling of nostalgia and loneliness strikes me and I just roam around the lakes... nature has always somehow comforted me :) but something's not right… i dumbly miss someone…

I go back home and have a little nap… it´s been so long since i last napped… but it feels so great :3 After lunch i go back to the university to meet with a teacher… but he seems to have disappeared from the map… i get tired of waiting and go "shopping" with xana… meaning… accompanying her xD wait… i did buy my mum a christmas gift ^^ That done, we went back home and i cooked for us both :) oddly enough, she did enjoy my vegetarian food :D maybe i'm not such a lousy cooker as i sometimes think xD At night, i invited rui to go with me to the cinema to watch "A Christmas Carol" in 3D… the movie was nice :) i liked its story :) but things with him are definitely different… our friendship has had better days… but there's nothing i can do about that i suppose... life goes on :)

Back at home… it's late and I'm tired… but i still have to pack my stuff again… I'll be back on the road again tomorrow ^^

Home sweet home

After an absence of 3 days, here i am again :) this time, home ^^

Monday was what i´d call a normal day, me and eduard started the day by cleaning up the mushrooms left on exhibition on saturday and then headed to the vulture's feeding site to get the pictures from the cameras. Unhappily one of them was not working... :S we tried everything we could to fix it... but there´s something wrong with the electric system we think... the time counter between each shot doesn't stop and is endlessly looping between 9 and 1... sometimes it does take a picture but it is not recorded in the memory card :(

We've also changed some cameras location... i just hope we do get some results... cause so far most of the cameras have been a total failure... :S

Tuesday was a cool day :D We went with ricardo to explore one of the water lines... the more i walk around faia brava the more i´m sure that this is what i like... Danger brings color to my life in a way i've never really understood... but i need it, i need this feeling of adventure, it makes me feel alive =) We followed the line almost to the coa river, always between rocks and vegetation... like in life, the path sometimes seemed impossible, but nothing that a careful look around or a little detour couldn't fix :) griffin vultures wandered the skies above us every once in a while, probably checking if we were still alive ;P we kept on going till a precipice appeared before our eyes... the sight was spectacular, but the way down a little dangerous... since it was getting late we decided to go back... the way up? shorter than down ;) 

Almost near the car, anthony calls, some horses have run... he needs our help xD first task, take the horses back to the fence, 2nd task? fix it... 1st one goes on smoothly, the second one lasts a little longer... the sun eventually sets and the cold night embraces us... soon enough all we see is each-others silhouettes and sparkling lights on the sky...

The day has almost reached its end, but i still have to pack my stuff... tomorrow i´m going home :) a sudden laziness takes over me though, and packing turns out to be a very hard task... i dunno what to take... time goes by and my bag is still empty... but someone eventually brings me to reason and i quickly pack everything i need :)

On the next morning i wake up early so i don´t have the chance of missing the bus... i´m on the road again... my stuff is all packed so it's time to leave :) the journey is long, way too long... lost in the sights, my mind flies, thoughts run through my head without control... what is this and what does it mean...? mostly important, what will i do about it...? I feel like a spider getting caught in its own web... I fall asleep every now and then, there's not much more to do... after countless stops, some on cities that i´ve never even heard of, I reach caldas in the end of the day... this journey has reached its end... i've lost the number of times i've returned home... the feeling is usually the same, it's good to be back ^^ but something today was different :) something that made my trip not so boring and my clock run a little faster, something that somehow made me feel happy :)

Back at home i dunno how to describe it... i'm warmly welcomed by my cat that quickly jumps on me... i've missed her ^^ i really can't describe how it feels like being back... entering my room and lay in my bed once again... i feel comfortable and protected... i feel home =)

With nothing to do, i spend the time watching anime with my brother... he has classes on thursday afternoon though, so i enjoy it on my keyboard... i fear i might have lost the touch... but as i start playing, my fingers move on their own... how i've missed the harmony of these sounds :) there's no other thing like it :)

And that's all for today... it's late... everyone's asleep, except me, writing gibberish in a blog that almost no one reads (why should they...? long and boring posts...), but that for some reason i keep on writing... 

Fado

Fado...

Fado que nos guia

Fado que nos destina

Fado que nos prende

A esta tristeza interna,

Para sempre certa,

Que nos persegue

A nós, lusitano povo.

Melancolia incurável

Que nos assombra a alma

E reprime a calma

Deste ser colectivo,

Guerreiro e aventureiro,

Que como um todo se expressa

Num único fado...

Um fado que nos move

Um fado que nos pesa

Um fado que nos consola,

Nas noites mais frias,

Desta triste vida

Que é a de um português.

 (podia-me ter dado p pior… lol xD)

Dunno what haunted me this morning… but i suppose this is what happens when you listen to childhood songs…

How can i relate so much to this collective body? Songs that are part of a country and also a part of me… Melancholy that takes over and reaches the darkest corners of my heart… like a fire that secretly burns inside me and loses control…  this voice that makes my soul shiver and my  heart tremble… echoing in every bit of myself... this voice that somehow screams my insides with a strength that i alone don´t have... This voice that is also mine, but is usually silenced by my mind… now poorly expressed in mere words… that, not being spoken or whispered, lack the feeling i gave them and may be interpreted in a thousand of ways… none of them, any near to what truly lies beyond…

Today i miss brazil… i miss its landscapes and its animals… i miss its people… i made nice friends there and i can only see that now… or is this feeling just another side of this fado that is within us all? This endless insatisfaction that guides our lives?  That makes us want something we've lost or never had, and not cherish it when we attain it…? But worry not… I´m alright =) i just spent too much time with myself… and this is the result. I kinda like it… i feel creative. Even though this side of mine is somehow dark, sad and melancholic… it's still a part of me.

Mushy mushy mushrooms ^^

My cell phone rings... it´s the alarm clock... and that means it is time for me to get up... i take my time under the blankets, i don´t feel like getting up yet... but... i have to... duty calls :P I throw away the sheets in a quick movement so there´s no turning back... I get myself ready and it´s time to meet with the workers.

On the way, something becomes clear to me, it´s friday... Oh my god, it´s friday again xD This week just flew by :)

There´s not much to do today, we have to check the vulture's feeding site to see if the repairs we´ve done have somehow been ruined... When we get there, anxiety and excitement fills our hearts... we run the whole fence, but nothing is found... even though that´s good, i feel somehow disappointed... it would be far more exciting if at least footprints were there… either way we leave cameras inside to make sure foxes are not getting in anymore… maybe they didn´t show up because of our scent? It will probably take a while before they try to get in again… but time will tell :)

In the afternoon, me and eduard part our ways… he stays with fernando to help preparing a few details about tomorrow´s field trip and i get back to figueira to buy a few things for it. It´s my longest car journey on my own so far :)  everything goes alright :)

 Back at home i find out that i forgot my keys… the 1st time i need to get home and i don´t have eduard with me, is the 1st time this happens… I´m feeling lucky today xD I check my neighbor's  house to see if she's home, she has some spare keys, but nobody's there… Meanwhile Anthony calls and tells me to meet him at icn park. He has bad news… turns out that the otter we delivered was shot by someone, most probably a hunter. My heart becomes heavy… i don´t understand how can people be so cold… how can they shoot a harmless creature like this? It´s not fair… and it´s inhuman. The icn is gonna try to sew the responsible for this crime, and if not possible, the entire hunting association. I give him all the info i have about the matter, but it´s not gonna be easy, cause the death happened on the frontier between 2 different hunting areas. He then tells me which things i will have to buy for tomorrow's mushroom field trip and nicely invites me for lunch at his house :) he somehow reminds me of Hughes, a funny anime character, specially when it comes to his cute daughters and his sense of humor :)

Back on figueira i quickly take care of everything and spend some time in the park, reading. I then head home, hoping that my neighbor is back or that eduard won't take long. But this isn´t my lucky day… Having nothing to do, but wait, i sit in the garden, take my binoculars and watch the birds… i can hear them everywhere, cheerfully singing… as i look around i find out that the diversity of tones belong in fact to a single specie, the spotless starling. It seems to be everywhere, flying from place to place. Beside that all i see is the house sparrow… nothing out of the ordinary, but enough to keep me entertained till eduard arrives.

Being home, with nothing to do and no one to bother, i go early to bed and watch a movie. Outside, christmas lights glow. It´s the first night they're on, giving me an unexplainable feeling of comfort. Even though i don't care that much about christmas anymore (it has lost all the religious meaning it once had), this time of the year can still cheer me up a little bit. I still believe in some of its values… for me it´s a time to gather family and friends. The consumption time has not come yet, at least not that i've notice… happily, i'm living in a far off place, so i don't have to watch and live the stupid reality of crazy gift shopping.

Saturday goes on smoothly :) We spend the whole day around mushrooms :) mushy mushy shrooms... mushrooms ^^ it´s funny to say those words out loud =P

Most of the people that came for the field trip were spanish experts in the area, but a few portuguese were present as well. We were divided in 2 groups and each followed a different path to faia brava. I liked this experience… it was pretty different from all the field trips I've had so far… To tell the truth I've never really had any interest in mushrooms and i don´t understand anything about them… i didn´t even know which ones were edible or not… xD but it sure was interesting :) i can now recognize a few ^^ (no names were memorized though… lol)

We walked around searching for mushrooms, each one with his own basket to keep the collected mushrooms. I think it went pretty well :) From what I´ve seen in the field i thought we were gonna capture around 20 species, maximum… but we got 80 :) Each specie was put inside a plate with its scientific name on it so it can be exhibited to the public. I´m not sure anyone's gonna be interested, but…

In the end of the day, me and eduard went out a little bit, he wanted to watch a football game and i took the chance to go to the internet :) i didn't have the time to post this though, but i'll do it later :)

Sheer Cold

“I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure of the landscape - the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn't show.” 

Andrew Wyeth

 

It´s cold... my feet are frozen and so are my hands... like tiny needles perforating my skin, the chilling temperature enters my flesh... shivers run through my body, but oddly enough, somehow, deep inside i feel warm :) Outside the rain has stopped... but the air itself is wet... there´s no wind and everything is quiet... The winter has come :)

For me it began this tuesday... a month earlier than what it is supposed, but that´s nature and my own vision of it :) Getting out of bed has been a task harder by the day... it feels so cozy and warm in it... why should i wake up before the sun does? =P but i guess that´s life... and i´m happy about it :)

The beginning of my winter was, as this post name may suggest, a freezing experience...  as in the days before, we started the day by meeting with the olive gathering workers. To facilitate the transportation to the reserve, eduard decided to take his car and i the jeep. My first sign of the arriving season was a thick film of ice on the car´s glass... it has been some time since i last witnessed this :) After taking the workers we went back to the village to talk to the shepherd about last day´s otter incident. We wanted to know where he found it and we wanted to see it...

The weather in Faia Brava was something that my poor linguistic skills can´t describe... a dense fog had fallen on all the area... everything seemed fragile and untouched, like we´ve entered a parallel world that human have never stepped... Everything looked still... frozen in time. 

As we get to the place, one thing was sure to me, that place was perfect for otters ^^ The pond where it was found was full of dog footprints... i try to find otter ones as well, but nothing can be seen... I try to follow the water line and begin my search for clues :) On the way a find a little creature on the ground ^^ a tiny green frog. A little further, otter footprints :) i try to follow its path and eventually reach another pond... I feel like a detective looking for clues in a crime scene... by luck, a little european robin lands nearby, and happily hops around, allowing me to take a lousy picture of it... Nothing else to be seen, i go back to the car, no need to say that my feet are frozen and so is my nose... everywhere perfect spider webs glow thanks to the thousands of little water drops...

Our next stop is a nearby pine forest, we´re going on the hunt for mushrooms ^^ And what to the untrained eye may seem like an empty place, is in reality full of mushrooms :) little bulges on the carpet of pine-needles are a good sign, that something may be lurking underneath it... shall u look beneath the  pine tree leaves and u´ll probably find, a mushroom ^^ As we make our way through the place the most abundant ones are the poisonous ones, and also the more attractive to the eye... Eventually, an edible one, the red pine mushroom, locally known as "sanchas" :)

By lunch time we join up with the workers... they´ve lit up a fire and its warmth is very welcomed :) Soon enough i´m lost in the labyrinth of flames  and my mind flies to a place that my awareness can´t reach... I´m suddenly awaken though, by a peculiar sound... it comes from an almond tree... and it´s a lesser spotted woodpecker ^^ after cracking the almond shell it cheerfully eats it and flies away from our sights...

On the afternoon it´s time to check the vultures feeding site... it needs repairs and we have to find out where... When we get there, little holes in the fence can be seen everywhere... small repairs won´t do... we´ll need something a little more serious... decent concrete.

Wednesday is passed from place to place, helping with the olive gathering and buying what is needed for the repairs. Something interesting was sighted though, a male northern harrier (Circus cyaneus)  flies across us, exhibiting its wonderful black and white colors :)

Today, due to the morning rainfall, no olive gathering happened, but we had to check for everyone's presence and head back home again. In the afternoon, the weather calmed down a little bit, allowing us to go fix the fence in the vultures feeding site.  I just hope the foxes don´t ruin our work during the night... On the way we spot something on the top of a rock... once i grab my binoculars, it becomes more clear :) It´s a peregrine falcon :) this time i´m able to see it way better ^^ and on the way home on the top of a pole a common krestel (Falco tinnunculus).

And i guess that´s all for the day :)

I shouldn´t be posting here today, since my internet connection broke up last night, but luckily enough i was able to capture someone´s wireless network ^^ the universe works in its own secret ways i suppose :)

Routine

10 pm... I´m comfortably sited on my bed with my laptop on my legs... the day is in its end, but i´m not that tired. The moon smiles me through the window, reminding me that nothing is still, everything changes... thankfully :)  I welcome its wisdom and let its light embrace me... i feel peaceful :)

I´m not really sure of what I´ll be writing here today... (let´s just say that i was somehow convinced by someone to do it... =P) but something will surely come up...!

The weekend is way gone and a new week has started... not much happened though... days seem to be going on faster and faster... like a train that took its time to take off, but is finally reaching its normal speed... It´s funny how relative time is... sometimes it feels like it flies by, others like it´s still... and yet our clocks always move at the same speed... or so they say. Time and Distance, 2 of the greatest mankind illusions... as my life goes on, the more certain i am about it ;)


Back on the topic ^^ This last few days were very peaceful... on friday i did pretty much nothing... and on the weekend i did nothing as well =P  I organized a few things, but except that it was a very tranquil weekend :) i think i was needing it though... sometime to be on my own, enjoying my own laziness ^^ 

Now... today... today was a nice day i suppose :) it was that kind of normal day... 


(I´m afraid i´m falling into routine... no way O.o .... can´t let that happen...! let´s twist this...!)


I´m in Faia Brava... we´ve just taken the workers to the olive grove and we are now meeting with Fernando to help him out. He´s gonna take water to some horses and needs our help to put the container in the truck... "our help"... it was more eduard´s help xD but i did give moral support ^^ 

The plans for the day were simple, all we had to do was collect the camera from the vulture feeding site and the one in the nascent with the curious footprints. We head to the vulture feeding site by jeep... this journey, done a few times by foot, is way easier by car... but not as exciting as well... as usual, i lose myself on the sights, and "wake up" when we arrive. Today no vultures can be seen... leaving the skies empty... Inside the feeding site we notice that the camera was moved... we wonder what caused it, but no conclusion is reached... it probably was an animal :) We also inspect the carcasses, but nothing new is reported... next stop? Other side of the river ^^ On the way we make a little detour to check the path to the black stork nest... we easily find it and notice a nearby flock of sheep wandering around... the sound of their bells soar throughout the mountain, reaching my ears and somehow relaxing me... Soon enough, the shepherd and his dog arrive, putting the sheep in order. The dog quickly sights us and as he gets nearer we find out that he once had lunch with us :)  Back on the car we get on the track again... As we reach the nascent, bad signs are found... 1st the water seems untouched... 2nd some grasses have crossed the camera's viewpoint =S I kinda lose my hope in this spot and we head back to Faia Brava. On the way, the cellphone rings... It´s anthony and he has some bad news... an otter has been found dead by a local shepherd´s dogs =S  It´s my first vision of one... and it was such a sad one... with a gracious and long body, it´s kind of a personal objective to see one of these animals alive in the wild... almost intact, we could see what probably were dog´s bites in its flesh...

We have lunch in Faia Brava and spend a little time there :) A female horse named Zora tries to capture our attention to her own personal problems... food! She´s pregnant, she´s hungry, she wants to eat =P  We´ve been getting along for some days now ^^ I´ve been feeding her with fresh leaves :) She´s a very nice horse and really, really smart ;) 






On the end of the day we head back to pick up the workers... a strange feeling takes over me... somehow i feel like i don´t belong... they look at us like as we´re the bosses and that leaves me uncomfortable... that´s not who I am... and not how i feel... i roam around as their finish their work and isolate myself... i pick up a nice spot on the low stone walls and focus on the landscape...the sun is setting... its light struggling to cross the clouds... the most various things come to me... but one in particular has been crossing my mind lately...

 After taking all the workers home we head to anthony´s working place to deliver the otter... a few formal procedures are taken and then it´s time to watch the pictures the cameras have taken ^^ Great expectations are created =P Anthony prays for a wolf =P but... all we see is... birds :P little fellows crossing the camera... some of them a little rare :) but no mammals, except of course, the night fox ;)  In the nascent however no picture was taken :S better places will come i hope :)



Back on home, here I am... writing... It´s 1 am, so i should probably go to bed now... (I said i was gonna blame someone tomorrow...)

By myself

By myself i lie... here in this cold room where everything is still... the day has fallen and the moon lies alone in the darkness...  i gaze into it and wonder... harmonious chords of piano fill the air... an environment of melancholy surrounds me, sweetly embracing me and reaching every corner of my soul... Like the moon I am... sometimes dark, others bright as the sun... in a never ending cycle of feelings and emotions... but worry not... I wouldn´t want it in any other way. The music penetrates me... a whirlpool of thoughts and feelings chaotically dance inside me...  my heart bombards my head with questions i cannot answer... questions i don´t have the courage to write or ask... questions that i unwillingly try to ignore...

A week has gone by, this one much faster than the last one :) but now that it´s in the end, i don´t really know what to say about it... it was a nice week i guess :) 


On tuesday i had my first day as boss ^^ but i´m a very lousy one... i don´t think i was made to be in charge... everything went ok though :) we went with the workers, checked if everyone was present and guided them to the olive groves. After that we went on our own lives... and that means starting the characterization of my sampling stations and changing one of the camera traps. Thanks to the rainfall during the week the water ponds were not dry anymore :) I wonder which animals will show up :)

In the afternoon we went with Fernando (one of atn´s workers) to explore the south part of the reserve... following what is the hardest path of Faia Brava (by jeep) we reached an area locally known as Cachão. There a nice stream will eventually flow... but right now all we can see is its path... the vegetation is very well preserved and as i try to reach the stream a group of partridges take flight exhibiting their magnificent coloration :) i decide to make this one of my sampling points :)
Back to the olive groves we have to note down the number of boxes and kilograms of olive gathered. It´s my first time in an olive press ^^ first the olives are put inside a big reservoir and then they enter a machine where they're cleaned by wind that gets rid of all the leaves :) a total of 350 kilograms of olive was caught in the first day :)

Wednesday morning... same thing xD but this time i go by myself and let eduard sleep a little longer :) the chilly morning puts me in an alert state... the city is once again deserted of human beings... but birds can be heard everywhere... somehow i feel like a stranger in the streets... like i'm in a foreign country listening to a language that is not mine... like those birds are the true habitants of those streets and I am just an intruder... that doesn't understand a word of what their saying... i can see them flying from roof top to roof top, singing every now and then... i listen carefully, but i´m still a failure with bird songs... I´ll get it with time though :)

After lunch antonio picks us at home, we´re going to count aquatic birds in nearby lagoons.  Little grebes, mallards, great cormorants and gray herons where just some of the species we saw :) with a pair of binoculars for my own, birdwatching becomes an interesting activity ^^  i find it funny that somehow, with time, my interest in birds seems to be growing... i find myself wanting to know them all ^^


Thursday was the cleaning day... we re-opened an old mountain trail that leads to river. Not an easy job i can say... at the end of the day my back hurt, but it was worth it :) the path it self was very good :) it´s amazing how the shepherd could still remember it after all those years...! Going down the mountain it eventually reaches and old windmill by the river :) Along the way, while picking up herbs, marking the way with stones, i found my self wondering that i could do this for a living... who cares about the degree... who cares about theoretical knowledge... there´s so much to learn on the field and i don´t have to be a biologist in order to do that... i wouldn´t  mind to just have a simple life on the countryside as long as i could freely run those steeps... watch all the animals around me... hear the running waters and lie down under the amazing blue sky :) for a moment i wanted to be a shepherd as well... maybe someday I´ll be able to have such a life as well? =)



I´m only missing today now... there´s not much to say though... i stayed home, doing nothing xD I´ll try to study a little on the weekend since i´m all alone here... there´s not much more to do...

I now leave u with a quote to think about ;)



"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

Rain...

6.26 am... my eyes open, but i still have some time... i let my-self warmly lie under the sheets for a little longer... it feels so cozy :) the sun isn´t up yet, my room is in total darkness, but i eventually need to get up :) the morning cold wakes me up and a new day awaits me :)

I open up the window only to find that it´s raining outside... a mixture of anxiety and excitement fills me :) It´s been some time since i had a morning like this one :)


We have to meet Anthony in the square, but once again we get there and wait quite some time for him. Luckily this time we´r waiting inside a car ^^ 

Since it is raining, no olive gathering will happen... but we go to Faia Brava anyway... somehow i love this new side of it :) everything´s wet and fresh :) clouds can be seen emerging from the river and birds can be heard everywhere, it´s like everything is new and alive!

Anthony show us around telling us which olive groves should be harvested and we also practice some bird singing recognition :) turns out that we´re surrounded by far more species than what one can first think ;)


We help him gathering some material and eventually come back to home. 

The day ends soon and i spend the rest of it doing nothing in the computer... i look around some books and listen to a few bird songs, but nothing out of the ordinary... time flies by though...

I get sleepy sooner than usual, but that´s probably cause i got up earlier as well :) I know i should go to bed, but i first want to leave something here... even though it turned out to be this simple. 

I´m happy to eventually have a small post :P

Different people, different experiences

Hmm here I am again, this time 3 days later... I wish I had the time to write everyday... can´t explain it, but writing things that happened yesterday or before doesn´t feel right... feelings of what happened have somehow faded turning my writing into something more descriptive... I´m afraid my posts will become somehow boring and repetitive with time... but let´s face it, that´s just the way our daily life is, except for a thing or 2, our routine is in a long term always the same... i hope that doesn´t happen with this blog, but only time will be able to tell.

Having been told that my latest post was somehow depressive (I warned everyone in my 1st post xP)  I shall try to sound a little more enthusiastic =)


This last few days have been very intense!


On friday we finally got access to the jeep ^.^ I have to say that that car is a monster... those japanese don´t take their work lightly... After a morning meeting with our boss and taking tons of borrowed books home (I´m not sure I´ll have the time/patience to even look at them... but I sure hope I do) we finally got our hands on the jeep´s keys :D Thanks to this our day was way easier than the ones before ^^ Being told that we where free to use it, we first went on the search-out for the missing horses... it appears that 2 or 3 horses jumped the fence and are on the run. Even though we spent the whole morning looking for them... no evidences were found... maybe they´ll return on their own?
The afternoon was way more interesting from me =) we went to the northwest zone of the reserve, the one we couldn´t reach while driving eduard´s car... I don´t have to say that it was peace of cake on the jeep ;P After getting kinda lost and ending up on a solitary farm guarded by surprisingly nice dogs, we had to go back and take the only road possible. Curves and more curves is what i can say about the way... it lead us down and down almost to the river. While stopping the car a Grey Heron goes by and lands on a distant rock, looking into the water, motionless, it stays there for a few minutes. After taking a look around we go back, this time, paying attention to the road so we can find the nascent we were looking for. Almost on the summit, before a curve, there it is. Its water filled with algae and small leaves. But something captures my eye, an area with no leaves, after a close look, a small footprint in the mud. Is it a fox? A wild cat? Maybe a small dog... we´r not sure... But this is one of the last places with water, so it´s worth to leave a camera. I can´t wait for its results =) We cover it with a fair amount of rocks and position it the best we can and we leave again, this time back to the vulture feeding site, to get the pictures from the camera. The culprits of the donkey enigma? Not evident yet... but the entrance of foxes inside was confirmed ;) this is not very good news though... the fence will need some repairs.


Back on home, nothing new, different people around the country keep me entertained till sleep time :)


On the other day something odd goes on... my alarm doesn´t go off... comfortable lying on my bed, i´m suddenly awaken by someone knocking on my door. It´s eduard... and I´m late. I get ready as fast as i can and we leave on time. Anthony is supposedly waiting for us, but once we get there we find out that he´s late xD Oh well... nothing else to do than wait =) We are going with him to Faia Brava to help some volunteers that came to plant some trees. This turned out to be a very interesting experience =)

The planting itself was nothing out of the ordinary, but made me feel very well... picking up a young tree and holding it in my hands made me think about many things... that fragile plant that i was holding was alive, it is a being with a past and a future that at that present moment was mostly dependent on me. I could ruin it so easily... but that´s not what i wanted. I wondered how many of those people there where thinking the same as me... Carefully introducing the plant into the ground i then covered its roots with soft earth and hoped that in the future it would turn into a nice and strong tree. Thinking that maybe in a few years, thanks to us, those almost deserted areas would be covered with trees, made me feel proud :) Never thought i´d experience a planting activity in such a deep way... 
Anyway, the group of volunteers is what surprised me the most, from teachers to architecture and medicine, this people all came to help, and for the second time :)  They were a very curious group, all vegetarian and with a somewhat familiar line of thought... some of them a little more extremist, they all were very nice people :) In the end of the day we decided to stay with them, a fire was made, and we all sited around it... i barely talked, but i absorbed everything i could :) We talked about the most various things, from paranormal phenomenons, like the curious crop circles in england, to politics, economy and sustainability. My mind, sometimes lost in the flames, was more and more surprised each time anyone talked. Eventually the rain came, first lightly and then heavily enough to make us disperse xD It was the first rain in Faia Brava in a whole year! I hope that what some people say is truth, and that i do bring the rain, cause this place sure needs it :P

The way back home was different :) It was the first time we did at night. Little mouses were seen crossing the road, but nothing bigger than that...


The next day, more trees planting :) this time much easier :) the last night rain made the soil softer, giving the trees a much better hope :)


In the end of the day it´s time to say goodbye, e-mails are exchanged and everyone takes their way :)


Me, i´m back here, writing again =)

Tomorrow starts the olive gathering campaign and I will be monitoring it with eduard, it´s the start of a brand new week :)

Break

5 pm... I´m alone in my room... cozily sited in my spot, i lie in darkness... the last rays of light shine through my window, but they can´t reach me... the sun´s fading away... and i... i am still here. Celtic music fill my ears and guide my fingers... but something´s not right... words don´t come out... I try to focus, but i now am in total darkness... 2 days have gone by... but everything´s the same as before... time seems still...

I shake off those thoughts and concentrate... things happened =)

Yesterday we went once again to the other side of the river . After my first good night of sleep i wake up peaceful and wistful... On the way I gaze thoughtfully into the landscape... it´s the same as the day before, yet it has changed... or was it me? The metal music is playing again, but today it´s somehow bothering me... like it doesn´t fit my mood... i try to ignore it and focus on the way, i must find the path we´re looking for, it´s somewhere before the bridge. On the road a flock of sheep appears, they seem so clumsy ^^ One of them follows the flock literally jumping... wish i had the camera at hand to capture that moment. It looks happy =) And makes me smile =) A game comes into my mind, Sheep, Dog, 'n' Wolf  x) sheep sure are cute creatures ^^

We find the path, but the car can´t continue on it... we leave it behind and go on by foot... The area seems pretty nice and well conserved, many trees are seen and birds are everywhere on their morning cacophony. Finally a path that goes up first, allowing us to go down on the way back :) After a kilometer or so we reach a belvedere... the sight, spectacular =) But our walk does not end here... the path, even though wilder, goes on till the top of the hill. On the way we sight something in the sky, our first guess is the griffin vulture. The lack of proper sun light doesn´t allow us to see its colors, but the tail seems to be too large and the acrobatics they´re doing don´t fit it at all. Our second guess? Golden Eagles =) A pair have a nest nearby, so it´s probably them =)

When we reach the top something captures our attention... remains of a large animal, probably a donkey or a horse, lay on the ground in what first looks like a ditch. This place seems to have been used before like some kind of animal graveyard. It´s the perfect spot for a new vulture feeding site. Everything Eduard needed! The place turns out to be very interesting for me as well, the ditch, even though drought, is a water line.

I have to say that i loved this place =) words? Don´t have them... The river runs down the hill... its sound can be heard hundreds of meters above, reaching our ears... mixed with the sound of the wind, it reminds me of the sea, giving me strength...

 The way back is easy. We spot a few partridges, lucky for them we´r not hunters... they´r way too noisy when they take flight. 

Back on the car we decide to explore the middle and northwest zone of Faia Brava. Easier said than done though... we get to Cidadelhe, a nearby village, and make our way to one of the pigeon houses. From there there´s a path that leads to one water line, we stare at it and think twice... laziness seems to have stricken us both today, so the path seems way too long to go by foot... we decide to come back later, once we get our hands on the jeep =3

We have lunch in Cidadelhe... accompanied by local dogs who stare at us asking for food, we play around with them and give them part of our food :) After that it´s time to find the way to the north part of the reserve, but that shows to be impossible on a normal car... after trying to find alternate ways to the pitted dirt road, leading us to circle walks around the town, we try to follow it... slowly and trying to avoid any holes and rocks, it eventually becomes impassable and we have to go back... going by foot is also out of question... frustrated for having our plans changed, new ones are made. Eduard goes to Guarda one day earlier and returns on thursday, allowing us to get back to work on friday. With this on our minds we return home... 

Laziness gets the best of me and I spend the rest of the day doing nothing =) back to my usual place, interesting things go on the internet world... it´s funny how some people can surprise us every once in a while ;P

My sleep, tranquil again, revitalizes me, giving me energy for another day... Being alone doesn´t trouble me at all... I´m more than used to it... but it does give me a strange feeling...

With no big plans for the day I set on to explore the city a little bit... there´s not much to see though. The roads are almost empty... i feel like i´m in a ghost town... feeling that is stressed by the chilling temperature... Sometimes a car goes by and a person walks out of house, except that, everything is quiet... I follow to Anthony's work place, i need to talk with him about a few matters, but as i get there he has already left... With nothing left to do I return home... 

Back at home I have nothing to do... I turn on the computer, it´s my only companion in times like this... I´m grateful to find that once again there´s someone on the other side that i can talk to =) This way time goes by faster =)  But I don´t surrender to total laziness and decide to clean up the house... spider webs are all over the place, but i take care of that quickly =) After a few hours everything is scented, leaving me with a victorious feeling... mission accomplished!

And here I lie now... writing all those meaningless things... that somehow fulfill me :)

My eyes become heavy telling me that once again it´s time to go to bed...

Sleep tight everyone =) 

Tomorrow´s a new day...

Life´s an adventure ^^

7.36 am... the alarm hasn´t gone off yet... but my body appears to have rested enough already. Another night without proper sleep...All I hope is that the next one is better. I don´t know what exactly is taking my sleep away... exterior reasons cross my mind, the bed´s too big, you´r not used to it, maybe another blanket will fix it? Deep inside i don´t believe any of these... but it´s not time to think about that. I need to get ready.

Today we´ve planned to go to the other side of the river that crosses Faia Brava, the Coa River. The journey is a little longer than to Algodres, but my mind easily gets lost in the curvy road... distracted by the sights, the metal music brings me back to myself. Even though i´d prefer if the singer would just shut up, the instrumental seems to move me. We eventually get off the road and stop the car in deserted area. The sight before us is indescribable =) After a brief discussion about whether we should or not go to the river below us, we decide to go. On the other side of the hill the path that we´ll eventually walk can be seen... it´s gonna take a while till we get down there. Once we do, i feel in peace and thankful for my life. There´s no other thing i´d rather be doing... The sound of the running water relaxes me and my mind gets loosed for a few moments, but i can´t stop or i´ll get sleepy. I explore around the area, but there´s not much to be seen. The water level seems to have risen since the last time I was here, but except that there´s not much more to notice. 

Out of nowhere a cellphone rings... It´s eduard´s, my roomie and work companion. On the line is Anthony, the director of ICN and our "boss". Turns out that there´s someone expecting us in Algodres to go to Faia Brava. Bothered by the fact that our plans were changed we make our way back... as if we had a choice... either way, it´s a nice opportunity to learn something i suppose. Climbing turns out to be harder than the way down, as usual... but that´s something i´ll just have to get used to. Soon enough we´r both breathing heavily and thanking the wind for accompanying us again. We eventually reach the car and it´s time to go back...

We reach Algodres in twenty minutes, the metal music distracts us once again, but our visitor has not arrived yet. We wait in the car and something catches my eye... Dozens of birds singing, jumping and flying around a church tower... it seems that what used to be a stork nest is now used by those little fellows ^^ watching them makes the time fly by and soon our visitor arrives. He works with nature tourism and all i have to say about him is that i wanna be like him when i grow up xD I felt like a tiny and ignorant bug next to that man... He wanted to visit one of the Egyptian Vulture´s nest and we went with him. He knows more about birds, mammals, insects and plants altogether than anyone else i´ve met... 

Our downhill adventure begun and it lasted the whole day. After taking a while to find the path we were looking for we eventually get on it... But something was worth this =) A peregrine falcon crosses the skies ^^ It´s my first conscious vision of one =) 

Back on the path it´s clear it hasn´t been used for quite a while... at least not by humans. Horses feces are found everywhere as well as their footprints.  Grasses grow everywhere and as we go by the path becomes more and more difficult to find. We make a stop for lunch... the visitor takes his time to take some pictures, eduard looks around with his binoculars, I sit down and stare at the river... my mind flies away... the streaming water hypnotizes me and soon it´s like I´m alone... just me and that river... just me and the mountains... just me and myself.

After everybody´s done eating we get on going... we follow the path for a few more meters, but we reach a dead end. After cutting down a few painful grasses we make our own way down the hill finally reaching what has been attracting me the whole day... those wild running waters =) But no sign of the vulture nest... after a few more hopeless tries, we decide to go back cause the day is getting to its end. The journey back is long and painful... but we can´t stay down there. Our will moves us so nothing can stop us.

And another day has come to an end...

I´m tired... but I´m happy =)

First day of "Work"

My cellphone starts ringing... it´s 7.20 am... the night, long and cold, seems to be gone, and a new day is dawning. I get myself up and pick some warm clothes... but it´s not so cold outside as it first seemed. I quickly make up some sandwiches to eat on the field and grab some fruit. I´m gonna need it =) It´s my first day of work...

After driving with my roomie till Algodres, a small and stony village, it´s time to get off the car and start walking. The path is long, but our will is strong :) the chilly wind is slapping our faces, but we quickly welcome it as softener of our rising temperatures ... we eventually make it to Faia Brava, everything seems to be quiet, except for the birds, singing here and there, flying all over us. I feel home =)

We make our way to the vultures feeding site, once again, a long walk... the wind accompanies us but the sun seems reluctant to show up... instead, gray clouds  cover the sky. The birds don´t seem to mind though... after a long way down and eventually up the hill we finally reach the vultures feeding site. In the middle 3 donkey carcasses lay on the ground... a scenery of stillness and death... the smell is anything but pleasant, yet we´ll have to endure it. A little further a solitary donkey head can be seen... it was thorned apart from its body by some animal... after a little research what appear as foxes feces are found... by the youngest carcass digging marks are all over the place... Could a fox be the culprit? There´s no way we can say for sure... In order to fix this enigma we decide to install a camera. It shall capture the culprit the next time it comes by. And so the tests begin. We need to find a proper place for the camera, or make it ourselves. The second option suits us better and our search for rocks begin, but we´re quickly interrupted by one astonishing vision. 

28 griffin vultures appear on the skies. Coming out of nowhere, they flow with the currents forming a spiral of beauty... their wings sometimes contracting form authentic giant flying mustaches x) the spiral eventually dissolves and they fly over us, watching us from above. Maybe they came to eat... maybe they came to watch... maybe just they followed the currents. We get back to our job and set up the camera. After that is time to inspect the fence. It was built so no living mammal could get in, but something got there for sure and we needed evidences of it. After looking all around it a conclusion was reached. There were several spots where an animal could get in. The problem? The concrete attached to the net is falling apart. All u need to do it is dig it and it will disintegrate like sand. On our way we find a small dog. It has been captured by many cameras already, he´s probably lost. But was he the culprit of the donkey head? That is yet to be known...

Next step, find water spots. Even though we followed the map, 2 spots couldn´t be found... frustration describes my feelings, but I´ll find them eventually. Suddenly a marveling vision! A fox passes downhill... red fluffy tail... it couldn´t be anything else. Happiness fills my heart and a new hope fuels me up the hill.

The afternoon is spent walking around the area, looking for water spots and unknown ways. Eventually the day comes to an end and it´s time to return home.

The walk is slow and long... the wind is again our companion. My feet hurt and my patience grows weaker, but there´s no other option but walk. We eventually sight the car, soon we´ll be home =)

I take off my shoes, it´s nice to be back. My room welcomes me and i get back to my spot. An improvised chair covered by a comfortable blanket. I turn on the computer only to find that everyone is fighting about the Christmas dinner. Our group has been falling apart lately and that can be clearly seen... I decide not to care. I´v given my opinion... I´ll just wait for the verdict.

With this sadness in my heart i decide to go to bed...

All i ask for is a tranquil night =)